Merry Christmas everyone!
I had an especially good Christmas this year for a number of reasons. It was the first Christmas Ethan and I have ever spent together since we began dating three years ago, so that was extra special. It was the first chance I’ve been able to come home since moving to Los Angeles in July. I was very excited to be able to give my family some extra nice presents this year because of my first full-time job. And I’ve really enjoyed being able to leave behind that full-time job and grown-up worries for a few days in exchange for the freedom and joy that comes with this holiday.
I baked cookies. I ate cookies. I wrapped presents. I unwrapped presents. I decorated a tree. I kept a cat from trying to eat a decorated tree. I glitter-glued my boyfriend’s name on a stocking. I realized the glitter glue some how made a hole in the back of the stocking after it dried.
I enjoyed all of these things so much that I know it is going to be really hard to leave home come the end of the week and go back to my new grown-up life all the way across the country. And I don’t like thinking about that on this warm and fuzzy Christmas night, because right now I don’t know the next time I will be home.
So I won’t. I won’t think about it right now. Because I want to be in the moment right now, sitting on the warm couch with Ethan, watching movies with my family. I don’t want to spend the next few days being sad I only have the next few days left.
I’m an adult and I live far away and I may not be home again for a while. It’s not an easy thing to deal with, especially when being home reminds me how much I miss home. But it isn’t a horrible thing. I like my adult life. I like my job. I like my relationship. And I like that I’m doing so well on my own.
But I can miss home without being any less of a grown-up. And I can also make the choice to not dwell on missing home while I am home. That’s silly.
It’s Christmas. Let’s be merry. And bright.
So Merry Christmas to you all. And to all a good night.