How To Decide If You Should Have A Long Engagement

Posted by Sunday, October 30, 2016 0 0

Let me be the first to tell you, just so we can all get on the same page: Ethan and I are having a long engagement. Now, let me rewind and explain.

Ethan and I have been engaged for almost four months now and we’re still in that warm little newly-engaged happy bubble. I like it in this bubble. I want to stay in this bubble. It’s quite nice in this bubble. But alas, something will inevitably burst this pretty little bubble of ours, and that is wedding planning. I know this because the TINY amount of wedding planning we’ve already done has created a needle that is inching closer and closer to the edge of that bubble.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so ridiculously excited to plan our wedding. I have a Knot.com account, tons of bridal magazines (maybe a few that I’ve had for years), a packed Pinterest board, a special wedding binder and even a “This is my wedding planning mug” mug. We have also tackled some of the practical issues by coming up with a budget and swirling around a date to see how it sounds.

The thing with the date though — it’s a few years away. Yup, Ethan and I have decided to go beyond the average 14.5 months between the proposal and the “I do” and have a “long engagement.” There are a few reasons for this, most of which I think would apply to other couples. So for those of you who are trying to decide how long you want to wait before tying the knot, read on!

3 Ways To Know If A Long Engagement Is Right For You

1. You want to save some more money.

The average U.S. wedding costs $26,645, and that number can go up or down drastically depending on where you live. And whether you are paying for the whole thing yourselves, having it financed by parents, or a combo (like we are), coming up with that kind of dough all at once isn’t easy. So, if you want to have your dream wedding without having to charge the whole thing, waiting a little longer so you can save up for it isn’t a bad idea. And that’s just what we’re doing.

2. You aren’t where you want to be education/career-wise.

Say you have another year of law school left (like Ethan). And say your pretty busy with that (like Ethan). And say your gonna have to study for months to take the state bar after you’ve graduated (like Ethan). And say your fiance doesn’t want to plan a whole wedding by herself while you’re doing all that (like I don’t), then waiting until you are in a place education/career-wise where you have the time to plan a wedding is probably for the best. That’s a big reason why we’re waiting until Ethan is done with school to really get down to business.

3. You want to make sure you have time to do it right.

Do you want to get married at a venue that books up two years in advance? Do you want to have a destination wedding? Or are you the type who wants to DIY the whole thing? All of these things will take time, time you won’t necessarily have if you try to cram planning your wedding into a short engagement. Of course, a lot can be accomplished in a year-long engagement, but that doesn’t mean tacking on another year won’t give you more time to space out creating 200 handmade favors. Of course I’m not planning on doing that, but I’m going to like having the time to tackle each part of the wedding individually and with great attention to detail.

So, would you have a long engagement?

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